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“He likes the kids,” my husband tells me. “Maybe it’s one of those side effects of being the only child with that one child policy.”
“He likes the kids,” my husband tells me. “Maybe it’s one of those side effects of being the only child with that one child policy.”
Huh, I think about it, watching my husband’s colleague running around with our children in the kid-populated playground. (We are confident that this has nothing to do with paedophilia).
Must be sad, to be an only child, if the desire to have siblings is high. As a child of only three, I always knew I wanted many children and while there are times I think I may crack with my five, I know there isn’t a moment that goes by that I feel thankful that Allah has made it possible for our family to grow to this size (and possibly larger).
My heart always goes out to friends who want children but are unable to conceive; or those who want children but are opposed by their spouses; or those who fall into secondary infertility and are left raising only one child. I have friends who persevere through multiple miscarriages and stillbirths, and I know these are one of the hardest tests for the believer, as losing a child in utero or anytime afterwards is also one of my greatest fears.
But that moment in the playground, I realize I forget to sympathize with those – Muslims and non-Muslims – who live in countries / societies where legislation dictates or has an extremely strong iron fist over the number of children a family is entitled to have.
I can’t imagine not being able to enjoy yet another child, just because I need permission from an authority, and the same is not granted due to stringent legislation. I suddenly feel overwhelming grief for families who wish for more children but are held back due to government policies, mostly revolving around the fear of population, which would allegedly stretch the country’s resources thin to provide for growing families.
Doesn’t this go horrifyingly against one’s fitrah?
Innately, Allah has provided the desire to procreate for both men and women. Even the legacy of supplications by the Messengers and Prophets recorded in the Qur’an involve them asking, begging, crying to Allah for righteous offspring to carry on the da’wah of Islam, as well as their own name. If those of the pious were to beg from Allah for children, where does that leave us – the lay Muslim population who also have innate desires to hold babies who become the coolness of our eyes and our fixed deposit savings for the Hereafter, provided we raise them as Muslims of caliber?
There is even a running joke amongst women that they forget the pangs of labor so quickly, the recovery stage post-partum twinned with the sleepless nights, and the growing insanity in tandem with their laundry loads that accompanies a newborn, that they jump right into having another baby once the baby dust settles. It’s a joke – but it’s pretty much the truth! Allah (SWT), in His wisdom, has put something inside us to want to perpetuate the existence of the human race, despite the crazy laundry.
Granted, this isn’t in disrespect to couples who wish to have smaller families – perhaps one or two children - as there is nothing in the Sunnah that dictates a bare minimum of children for Muslim couples to be counted amongst the righteous. But the overwhelming understanding of procreation is that there is an encouragement for Muslim families to have many children, in lieu with our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) announcing that this is something that will make him shine with pride on the Day of Judgment. And when this innate fitrah (basic nature) is dictated or limited by legislation, whether or not one’s preference goes with the “allowed” number of children per family, it is a violation of basic human desire and human right.
The World Health Organization defines reproductive rights as follows:
“Reproductive rights rest on the recognition of the basic right of all couples and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children and to have the information and means to do so, and the right to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health. They also include the right of all to make decisions concerning reproduction free of discrimination, coercion and violence.”
Accordingly, reproductive rights may include some or all of the following: the right to legal and safe abortion; the right to birth control; freedom from coerced sterilization, and contraception; the right to access good-quality reproductive healthcare; and the right to education and access in order to make free and informed reproductive choices.
One begins to wonder how entire populations are barred from these basic rights.
http://www.onislam.net/english/family/your-society/480267-family-planning-religion-a-social-pressures-.html
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